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Meet Ken Miller
Director of the Long Island Sting and Everest Recruiting Consulting.
Ken is a graduate of The University of North Carolina, where he played lacrosse.
He is also a writer for Inside Lacrosse , dealing with the intricacies of the recruiting process.
Besides coaching, he is actively involved in fitness. He is an avid surfer and has also participated in over two dozen Triathlons and Duathlons along the East Coast.
Dear Parents:
If you are visiting this website, you and I probably have two things in common: we both want the best for our children and we both enjoy watching our children play lacrosse. The challenges we as parents face in raising our sons and daughters are seemingly infinite. However, once you park yourself in the stands to watch a game, those challenges seem to disappear as he or she excels on the field. Your child may have the desire and ability to play at the college level. If so, his or her ability and academic achievements may afford you leverage in gaining admission to a school of your collective choice.
Admissions at most colleges is fiercely competitive. Record numbers of families are sending their children to college, making those slots for admissions ever more difficult to attain. The good news is that most lacrosse programs do hold "slots", coveted admissions spots for select players. Each coach has a certain amount of latitude in determining who will get a certain slot based on a myriad of factors, both athletic and academic. This latitude is granted to coaches at most schools. This applies to Harvard and Hofstra, Colgate and Carolina, Amherst and Annapolis and many more.
The downside is that in utilizing your child’s lacrosse skills to realize your shared collegiate dreams, you will almost certainly have to experience the emotional roller coaster known as the "recruiting process."
Even though my children were highly recruited and were very good students, the process was nonetheless stressful and complicated due to the countless variables and inevitable twists and turns. We experienced varying degrees of interest from multiple schools, with varying amounts of scholarship money, varying stringencies of admissions standards, varying proximities to our home, and varying levels of communication that stretched over what seemed like an interminable amount of time. My children's choices were no less complex or emotionally trying than those of players who were either more or less heavily recruited. There is no way to avoid the pressure and uncertainty that will be brought to bear on every family, regardless of its circumstances, until an acceptance letter is in its proverbial hands.
You may wonder why the process is so challenging. Why is it so confusing? The reason is that no blueprint exists. Books and articles can provide a vague framework for understanding what the process entails, but the process does not lend itself to conformity. No handbook can listen to your concerns along the way. No article can make changes when obstacles present themselves. No website can take your phone calls when questions arise. Everest Recruiting Consulting can help you when these resources fail.
Besides my family’s experiences, I have been the director of boys’ lacrosse travel club teams for the last twelve years. I have traveled virtually year-round, attending recruiting tournaments and getting to know the coaching community. I have made a study of the recruiting process, gathering bits of information along the way: what goes on behind the scenes, how the process affects families, and how I can facilitate positive progression.
Every family that I have assisted has had a unique circumstance. How could they be so dissimilar? I have found that although some particulars are the same, many of the details are incredibly varied. The features that make up athletes’ profiles are universally similar only in that they play the same sport. No two recruits have the same...
* G. P. A.
* STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES
* FINANCIAL NEEDS
* SKILL LEVEL
* POSITION
* AMOUNT OF EXPOSURE
* LOCATION
* HEIGHT
* WEIGHT
* SPEED
* FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES
Take all these variables and combine them with the emotional uncertainty of the process and you often have a recipe for constant confusion.
Almost every year, you hear about the casualties, the horror stories. Parents who are shocked that their son was dropped as a recruit by a school that they thought "really wanted him." Or, their daughter is denied admission from one or more of her top schools and did not have a contingency plan. A parent's first reaction is to blame the coach, but in my experience the coach is not the one to blame. Parents forget that coaches are not admissions counselors. My experience has taught me that the families share most of the blame, and do so because they did not pay attention to subtle signs along the way. But how could they have known? Who was there to guide them? Who could have interpreted the information that they were receiving?
Parents who have a hard time understanding the process assume that coaches are in a better position to do so. On the contrary, the vast majority of college coaches with whom I have become friendly with , coach because they love the game. They are highly competitive, dedicated peole who thrive on helping young athletes reach their potential as players and students. They have a limited window of time to identify talent during the recruiting process. They and their assistants must attend a lengthy series of tournaments spread all over the country and quickly assess the diverse talent they see.
After having identified the players in whom they are interested, coaches have the unenviable task of trying to convince a 17-year-old and his family that the program he represents is better than the five to ten other programs at the schools that are recruiting that player. These meetings are just as enigmatic and filled with doubt for the coaches as they are for the families. I can assure you that coaches are just as often shocked by a recruit and his family leading him to believe that his school was their top choice and eventually opting for another program. Parents have told coaches that they loved their school, have liked the athletic program, have taken the official visit, and... have chosen a different school. Last year, I had a coach at a nationally-recognized program tell me that a recruit’s mother had him completely fooled. When the player committed to a competing school in the same conference, the coach said, "That Mom was a great actress. I can't believe how hard she worked at convincing me it was a done deal. She certainly has a career in the C.I.A. waiting for her."
Okay, so both sides have it tough. So what is a family to do? What can they do to proceed down this clouded and confusing path? Here are some tips:
>Be realistic about your child’s ability.
>Be honest with the college coaching community - no one wins when anyone is misled.
>Focus on academics first and lacrosse second when choosing a school - how can you lose when you get a great education?
>Visit schools early - start the process of unofficial visits during sophomore year.
>Establish a dialogue with coaches - do not be afraid to call coaches at a school in which you are interested. Be honest with them about your school choices during recruiting. The coaches will appreciate your honesty.
> Constantly reassess your position - don't be afraid to ask a coach on numerous occasions what his current level of interest is in your son.
The families that have hired me have gained a distinct advantage. Once I get an understanding of the family dynamics, I am brutally honest about their child’s ability and his prospects. I become the family’s guide, much like a sherpa (a mountain climbing guide). Think about those who have chosen to climb Mt. Everest. Once they embark on their journey, they are subject to a constant barrage of ever-changing variables that could negatively affect the outcome of the climb. Adverse factors could include changing weather, avalanches, shifting ice, oxygen intake, hydration, faulty gear, hypoxia, and so on. A good climbing guide has learned how to factor in each unfavorable event and modify his strategy appropriately. Using a sherpa will almost certainly provide a climber a greater degree of safety. Does hiring a climbing guide ensure success? Of course it doesn't. The use of a guide who knows the terrain just ensures that the climber has a better chance of avoiding critical mistakes along the way. If you have one shot at something, with a limited window of opportunity, and you are somewhat unfamiliar with the "terrain,” hiring a guide is the reasonable and responsible thing to do.
I am most proud of the fact that the families that have relied upon me are almost all referrals. My clients will attest to my commitment and advocacy of their children from beginning to end. Please take the time to read the testimonials we have posted. Hopefully, you will come away with a sense of the degree of dedication I provide to the families that have relied upon me.
I look forward to hearing from you and your student athlete. I wish him or her success in the classroom and on the lacrosse field. My hope is that you all experience another four years of lacrosse at a school of your choice. It will allow you to continue to live your dream of watching your child grow into a mature young adult who will learn more about life and its challenges because of a love of lacrosse.
